now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
