I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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