My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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