life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
