Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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