I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
