Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Randomize