i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
