some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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