Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
sarcasm needs its own font
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
