I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
