You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
