If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So vagazzling was a success
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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