your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
