Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just tell him i said nine months
accomplished twins. life is a go
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
