I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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