i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
