My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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