dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
