I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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