Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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