Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
