It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
