Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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