last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
