When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
