Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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