and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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