this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
either way he was missing a nipple.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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