My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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