This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
as a side note pls kill me
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
