I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
