so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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