Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
