and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
