Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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