We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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