went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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