i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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