Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
