pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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