Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
