so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
