Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
