He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
