it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She's just so happy...and so naked.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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