So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
True strength comes from lack of pants
Dick very happy bro
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
