I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
