there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you would pick up someone in the library
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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