i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He better not be in your backpack
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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