Can i not drive my cunt home
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
