Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
