So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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