I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
