so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
