The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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