he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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