I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
