whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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