What did we do last night that was yellow?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
