so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
