Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
