Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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