we're blogging at a bar
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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