just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
