just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
