OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
