so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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