I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
