As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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