Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
