My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
