this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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