I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
