literally had 100 drinks last night.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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