Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize